It was a decision made by all of us. We all agreed. We had it done. We got an urn and even got some mini-urns as keepsakes with some ashes in them. Everything went as planned.
Until I saw it. All that was left of her were ashes in an urn. I immediately felt like we did something wrong. We had her turned into a pile of ashes and even dumped some in the ocean as she wanted to be buried at sea. I didn’t stop it. I let it happen because we all agreed. That was my mom floating out there becoming nothing more than bits of stuff mixing with the water, to be lost and forgotten amongst the tide. In a sense I lost her a second time.
I will hold tightly to my keepsake urn. That’s all I have left of her. If I lose that then I would have lost her a third time and I think that would be too much to bear.