I learned to add depth to my writing. Some would think that’s a small thing, but consider this:
Gerry entered the room and saw her standing at the bar. He went to her and demanded answers. She laughed in his face.
Seems simple enough, right? Now try this:
Gerry was angry and needed answers. The door to the bar allowed him access to a seedy world full of smoke and smelling of beer and gin. She stood at the bar, her back to him. He approached her, and when he got right behind her startled her with the question, the only question: “Where is she?” She turned and faced him, and with a look like she was seeing the funniest thing ever, laughed in his face.
Maybe a little drawn out, but it’s that difference that is taking my writing to another level. It’s more visceral, more real. It’s even more visual, combining sounds and smells into something anyone can relate to. Cool, right?
Anyway, I’ve got some editing to do. Until tomorrow.
Honestly, I’d do well with something in between those two. There’s something to be said for simplicity, as is there something to say for description.
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